Project: Screentime — The Beast

Remember the Drive-In? Waaaay back when I had that idea, I also hatched a plan to build a custom that nobody, and I mean nobody, would want besides me.

There were definitely some obstacles. For one, the particular model of car I needed is nearly impossible to find. Second, when I decided I wanted to do this, I had hardly any idea how to customize a die cast. I would have to slowly work my way up.

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But as of the last few weeks, I decided I was ready. And as of today, it’s done.

So what did I need? A 1987 Ford Crown Victoria. What did I get? Well, a 1990. Oh, but it gets worse.

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Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast

Happens I’m Jewish, but if that jolly old elf is near and dear to your heart, you may want to avert your eyes.

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Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast

Ho ho ho! Looks like someone’s getting a lump of coal in their stocking this year!

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Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast

Nooo! My face! My holly jolly face! It burns like a chimney someone forgot to douse on Christmas night!

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Oh yes, there was one tricky part before this. Turns out Johnny Lightnings rivet their windshields onto the body. But we soon sorted that in Marathon Man style.

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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Another challenge: The stock wheels were a bit too flashy. I needed mine to look more like a standard police-style wheel. So I did that.

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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So what car am I making, anyway? Well, let’s find out... in song!

I can’t stand it, how long I planned it

Imma get it straight, not procrastinate

So I hit the search bar and I pray

But the model just ain’t on eBay

So I got this 1990 Crown Vic

But I gotta burn the face off St Nick

Oh my God I’m such a Yob

But I gotta do this custom job

Listen all y’all it’s a custom job...

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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Listen all y’all it’s a custom job...

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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Listen all y’all it’s a custom job...

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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It’s the Crown Vic from Sabotage!

Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast
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Illustration for article titled Project: Screentime — The Beast

At long last, it holds a place of honor in the cop section of the drive-in. I have a few more full-teardown movie customs waiting patiently, some even harder than this one. You’ll hear about them when I eventually get my butt in gear.