LaLD crew, assemble!

Completely unrelated to diecast, but do you like short horror stories? If so, I want your help! I had an idea and wrote a short (2000 words) horror story, and I want your feedback on it. More after the jump.

An AutoArt 1/64 Ford GT for your trouble
An AutoArt 1/64 Ford GT for your trouble
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I want your feedback not only on the story (what did you liked? what did you disliked?), but on the writing as well. I am not a native English speaker, as many of you know, and I didn’t took formal English lessons either, teaching myself almost everything I know of the language, so some grammatical constructions may seem a bit weird.

The story can be read at this link. I’ll greatly appreciate your feedback!

Thanks in advance!