Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis

- Tom Waits

Hey Charley I’m pregnant

Living on 9th Street

Right above a dirty bookstore

Off Euclid Avenue

I stopped taking dope

And I quit drinking whiskey

And my old man plays the trombone

And works out at the track

Advertisement

He says that he loves me

Even though its not his baby

He says that he’ll raise him up

Like he would his own son

He gave me a ring

That was worn by his mother

And he takes me out dancin’

Every Saturday night

Hey Charley I think about you

Every time I pass a fillin’ station

On account of all the grease

You used to wear in your hair

I still have that record

Of Little Anthony and The Imperials

But someone stole my record player

How do ya like that?

Advertisement

Hey Charley I almost went crazy

After Mario got busted

I went back to Omaha

To live with my folks

Everyone I used to know

Was either dead or in prison

So I came back to Minneapolis

This time I think I’m gonna stay

Hey Charley I think I’m happy

For the first time since my accident

I wish I had all the money

That we used to spend on dope

I’d buy me a used car lot

And I wouldn’t sell any of ‘em

I’d just drive a different car every day

Dependin’ on how I feel

Advertisement

Hey Charley, for chrissakes

Do you want to know the truth of it?

I don’t have a husband

He don’t play the trombone

I need to borrow money

To pay this lawyer

And Charley, hey

I’ll be eligible for parole

Come Valentine’s Day