I'm fixing her. She'll be even more a frankenstein than before.

When I got her, her engine had already been replaced by the previous owner. Then her ECM acted up. Grabbed that off the donor car the engine came from. Then her rear axle exploded. I replaced it. Today, it has only about 5,000 miles on it. Then along comes dip-ass in an SUV with a trailer that’s wide. Crunch goes the left front, tie rod snaps. I had just gotten those replaced during the tire service.

I went to the junkyards on Friday, scrounging up parts in the Pierce County area. I’ve spent about $200 so far. Got a nice-condition bumper frame, and a header panel from a 2000 Crown Victoria LX. Color might not be a perfect match, though.

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Illustration for article titled Im fixing her. Shell be even more a frankenstein than before.

All that’s left now is getting a bumper cover and a salvaged fender. I’m planning on calling a few junkyards around the Oregon-Washington border, they’ve got a couple in Silver.

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Game plan is to get the tie rod replaced, pull off the old, damaged bumper cover, and put on the new bumper assembly. Then asking the body shop it’s at to measure the frame if at all possible.

Then I’m going to complete the repairs by replacing the fender and header panel. Going to have to get a new corner light, too. Left headlight looks like it can still be used, the impact only knocked one of the bulbs out of the housing.

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Illustration for article titled Im fixing her. Shell be even more a frankenstein than before.

So right now, game plan is to keep the Queen. Her financial value has diminished quite a bit, but she should still be road-worthy once I’ve had the tie rod replaced. Going to ask the boys at Chevy of Everett to give her a thorough suspension check while I have them change the brake fluids.

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In the meantime, I am watching an auction in Connecticut, waiting for it to start. There’s a very nice 2011 Crown Vic with half the miles as the Queen, and in slate gray paint. I’m going to see if I can land that car, and get it shipped here.

If not, the Queen will be on daily-driver service until I make a decision on what to do. Source another Vic, or start looking at other cars. I’ve been also looking at the Ford Taurus Interceptor, the V6 non-turbo with the AWD option, for example. There’s a metric fuckton of them in Illinois. And they rarely sell for above $13000.

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That’s not bad. Downside is, I’d have to take out an auto loan to get the Taurus, while the Crown Vic in CT would just about deplete nearly all my surplus money (including the insurance settlement). And I’d been trying to save up, too, so I could try to get a house.

Life is an asshole. Washington State is a bigger asshole. I’m seriously considering quitting this state for good. It’s not worth the burden to stay here for much longer. The regressive taxes make financial mobility for the lower income brackets impossible.

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So, yeah. Life is an asshole, but I can be a bigger asshole if that’s what the world wants -- but I refuse to indulge in their madness.