CLS53 and GTshitty3 4-door; my thoughts. Oops, err, I mean GT63

Garbage. Straight garbage.

Illustration for article titled CLS53 and GTshitty3 4-door; my thoughts. Oops, err, I mean GT63
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Ok, so they’re both perfectly acceptable if you look at them for what they actually are. But the badges are lies.

The CLS53 does not feel like an AMG in any way at all. 43's feel more like AMG’s. The exhaust is too quiet and I’m pretty certain they pump exhaust noise in through a speaker in sport+ mode.

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It also doesn’t feel special when accelerating. Honestly it feels pretty similar to my 2001 E55. The CLS feels a bit more composed in corners, but 210's are not known for their handling. My car even sounds better and frankly I don’t think the old M113 sounds that amazing. Don’t get me wrong it’s still a V8, but it sounds closer to an American truck than a German super sedan. Nothing in this world would every make me want the CLS53 more than my E55, even if they were the same price.

The engine is smooth and I think could sound great with exhaust work, but straight out of the box it’s pretty lackluster. The 48v drive system engages seamlessly which is very nice. The interior is nice. Looks ok overall I guess. But AMG it is not.

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As for the GTshitty3 4-door...

Fast, nice, looks decent I suppose. But, here’s the kicker...

IT DOESN’T SHARE A SINGLE COMPONENT WITH A REAL GT!!!

Now you’re wondering what exactly I mean by that. Well I’ll tell you. The chassis is based on the CLS which is based on the E. Most part numbers are from a 213 E. The engine is not a dry sump like on the real GT. It does not have a torque tube like a real GT. It does not have a rear mounted dual clutch transaxle like a real GT.

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So basically it’s a CLS63, which is basically an E63.

So you want a fast sedan? Save yourself $70k fucking dollars and buy an E63.

I’m pissed at Mercedes for this unethical naming bullshit and purposely screwing over consumers by tricking them into these by telling them it’s something it’s not. It’s fucking horseshit. Fuck you Mercedes marketing team.