Why Your Automotive Subculture Sucks: German Car People

“Dieselgate” Cars
“Dieselgate” Cars
Gif: ... (AP)

Hallo. Zis vill be brief and efficient. Just like ownership periods of German cars!

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Your subculture: German Car people.

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Your Background: Look at you. Successful and dynamic. A real go getter. Time for you to get a car that shows the world that you are different than everyone else....something that is as well designed, well built and precise as you.

The Car(s): Look at these letters and numbers:

E30, W18, F15, G11, Z3, TTRS, RS 6, S3 8L, S2 B4, K31, A10

Can you tell which are cars? If so, go away and do something better with your life.

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What’s new that sucks: Look! The badge lights up! *cums in pants*

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What has always sucked: 

German manufacturers....have a bit of a checkered past morally lets say. From their uh...origins in the mid 20th century (no need to look into that!) to more recent affairs involving emissions.

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Let’s just say that if in 2014 VW can’t see what’s wrong with locking 10 monkeys in a chamber and running a tube from an exhaust pipe to the chamber.... then perhaps some more work needs to be done there.

HEAR IT FROM GERMAN CAR OWNERS!

GTI owners on Oppo: I’ve made a mistake like... a really big mistake

E90M3 - I think I’m going to buy a Lexus next

phenotyp - DRIVETRAIN CANNOT BE ENGAGED