Rainbow from my Saturday morning drive to San Antonio as a buffer image for a bunch of useless drama...
Sunday evening my youngest daughter (17) calls me up crying and asking if she can move in with me before school starts. Of course my answer was, “I will always have room for you if you need it.” I also advised her that we should sit down with her mom and talk about it before final decisions are made. So Wednesday I get to drive to Houston to get all of the details.
When I got off the phone with the kid, I called her mom to get more information. It seems they disagree on some things, like: No Marijuana, No the boyfriend can’t live in the same house, and yes there will be a curfew. All of these seem like reasonable rules for a 17 year old girl to be obeying. The ex-wife agreed that we can sit down with the daughter and talk about things. I want to make sure that the kid feels like she’s being heard, but that under no condition are the rules going to vanish because she moves in with me.
Then tonight the kid called me again. Her question was just as shot, but this time came with an explanation. “My boyfriend is currently homeless. When I move in with you could he stay with us? it would be no more than a month until he got an apartment of his own...” The answer to this was no. I told her I anticipated that this would be coming, but we can talk about it, though my answer is no and is unlikely to change. This boy is supposedly the one getting my daughter to try Marijuana, among other things. Since he’s been in her life her friends no longer come around, and don’t seem to spend any time with her.
I have met this “young man” and even had dinner with him. He needs help. More help than I would ever be prepared to provide to him. He’s 19, not in school, supposedly working construction with his dad, but homeless. He has ADHD but refuses to take medication for it. This is not a smart kid. I do not want him acting as a boat anchor around my daughter’s neck. Sunday the daughter put him on the phone with me, as if talking to him was going to help my already solid answer of “yes my daughter can stay with me”. It only highlighted for me that while I was going to be polite to him, I don’t want him around.
If anyone wants this kid I won’t take in, let me know. I’ll get you his phone number...