Bronco - but what does HHFP say about it?

There is some kind of horse-based topless wundertruck that just came out and I’m here to have words about it.

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Photo: Horse-face
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Let’s get some things cleared up for my personal gratification. I called it. Now that I have doffed my self feathered cap, we may continue.

Looks.

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Photo: Ferd
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These two pictures sum it up for me. The 2 door looks like a toy that’s been squashed in photoshop and the flairs. Good lord the flairs.

Illustration for article titled Bronco - but what does HHFP say about it?
Photo: Pep boys probably
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Those are BY FAR the worst part of the design. They look SO bad its painful. Its not a narrow vehicle, and it doesn’t do the wrangler thing of coming to a point at the front. I just can’t get over how tacked on and cheap they look. Its what I see here when people get caught with too little flair to legally cover their tire and they have to throw something together to pass inspection.

The overall effect of both the 2 and 4 door is not my cup-o-tea. I don’t like em. I think it looks cartoony and overwrought. That being said I know a lot of people dig it. That’s cool too. Frankly, I think my 80 series is a bit of an ugly thing, but that’s neither here nor there.

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Features.

Okay, Ford really REALLY deserves props for listening to outside help on this one. I know for a fact that Johnathan Ward had a hand in these and it shows.

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Limb riser points, steep bumpers, integrated rated recovery points, and then the interior stuff.

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Photo: ferd
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YES! a track system integrated into the cowl?! granted I would have rather it been a cheese plate (a bunch of 1/4-20 threaded holes) than a rail where you have to buy from Ford now. I’m sure someone else will come up with something to take advantage of it. Still, very yes.

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Photo: powah
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Yes to having power on the dash too. Helps avoid messes like this

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Photo: Yes, its my mess.
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Though, while 5v is nice, 12v would have been better. A 20 amp recessed Anderson connector up there with Ford accessories would have made adding radios and such easier.

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Photo: colonial clinic
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This is a bag of “meh”. I understand the idea but its not great. Imagine having those clank around on a trail. Also, the “NO STEP” thing is dumb. 1. because this isn’t an airplane, it was never an airplane. 2. People aren’t going to care and step all over it anyway...have you met kids? Instead of an egg crate plate there they should have found some way to add panels. either screw them in, buttons, or something. The things people are hanging on the backs of seats are canvas panels with tools, first aid, maps, and cool overland patches that show others how overland you are. Speaking of which, this should come with badges, at least 3 pre-sewn into the roof panel.

Illustration for article titled Bronco - but what does HHFP say about it?
Photo: Tail gate!
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Lots of yes going on here. 1. tailgates are cool. Yes to them. 2. Tie-downs are cool, I see 4 (could use 4 more inboard but whatever). 3. Freaking pneumatic struts that hold open deadly swing gates are cool. Hell no to the tiny interior space. A reminder that these are the same length and width as my 80 series, which has room for 7 people or LOTS of gear. Yes different times and so on. It’s also the same length and width as a 4runner which has room for 8 people or carry lots more gear. The Wrangler has the same problem and it comes down to those damned flairs. Just make the vehicle fit over the wheels!

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Photo: ferd
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What’s interesting is that this image reminds of the photoshop I did to square out the wrangler. hmm.

Capability?

Yes, it has it.

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Photo: Ferd
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These numbers are good. I think their RTI scores are optimistic though.

For capability here is what we know.

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Photo: Cyberton Playdude
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Front axle is a DANA AdvanTek IFS axle, probably a 200 mm, the rear axle is a Dana AdvanTek M220, same as the Wrangler Rubi.

Front suspension is a PAAS type (Pointless Acronyms Are Stupid) with twin cast aluminum A-arms.

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Photo: megatron private selection

rear is a medium arm 5 link with an oddly placed panhard.

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Photo: naughty bits
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I feel like the samsquanch package has more sagitta than it should with a bar angle like that. But maybe I’m wrong.

Clearance looks good and bless them for doing shock aft and wheel centric instead of in the middle of the axle and forward (Hi Colorado!)

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Crawl ratios? I honestly don’t care. The 100:1 manual ratio will be great, as will the 70:1 auto. Feels like a wind-assisted pissing match to me. More slower is more better, but I honestly think I would have been happier with a numerically smaller axle ratio for better daily livability than having to deal a 10 tooth pinion on an 8.5 inch ring.

Payload is meh. 1170-1370 lbs

Towing is meh - 3500 lbs

mpg is going to be meh.

Let me be clear. Ford KILLED IT with the paper specs. They ticked all the right boxes and then a few more just for spite. Im sure this thing will be amazing off the road. It will certainly be a better desert runner.

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And here is the rub. The world REALLY doesn’t need another pre-tuned ultra desert runner for people who don’t know the difference between a C-clip and a D-cup.

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I mean, could part of that just be my old man yells at the clouds? yeah. But seriously, it’s getting pretty trashy out there with the quality of gear to quality of user ratio skewing badly. This doesn’t help that.

Great Jerb Ferd on making a better Horse face.