CONGRATS!!! You've been promoted to run Nissan and save the company from its impending doom. What is the plan??

Your situation : Shit sucks bro, everything is on fire, your cars suck, fleet sales obviously don’t work, you have no more cash to throw onto cars, and your fire extinguisher is empty.

Illustration for article titled CONGRATS!!! Youve been promoted to run Nissan and save the company from its impending doom. What is the plan??
Advertisement

Your model line up for the US market:

Versa Sedan: a local Oppo’s favorite rental vehicle ever

Versa Note: an irrelevant vehicle

Sentra: Every college freshman’s car if their parents don’t already get them a Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, or Ford Mustang

Advertisement

Altima: The “I didn’t look at anything else prior to going to my local Nissan store” car

Maxima: SpOrTy

Nissan Leaf: ELECTRIC IS THE FUTURE

370Z: Can almost vote in the States

GTR: I suddenly became increasingly expensive

Kicks: MILLENIALS!!!!

Rouge: Is approaching it’s 6th birthday

Murano: MEH

Pathfinder:MEH

Armada: When you want to play real life Battleship in an over 60k SUV

Frontier: Is nearly as old as the 370Z

Titan: No one wants these fucking things

Illustration for article titled CONGRATS!!! Youve been promoted to run Nissan and save the company from its impending doom. What is the plan??
Advertisement

Your finances are more depressing than country music: How to set money on fire

Your previous CEO: 

Illustration for article titled CONGRATS!!! Youve been promoted to run Nissan and save the company from its impending doom. What is the plan??
Advertisement

You can’t possibly do worse than him, so no pressure.

Your plan: (insert your plan here)