I been feeling it coming for a while, I only have one friend that I hang out with. We haven’t hung out in since February. If I don’t initiate nothing happens and for the past few weeks he’s said no to hanging out.
I’ve always been alone and felt different to everyone else. I’m very sensitive and emotional which makes me different from societies notion of being a man. I know it didn’t fit my families, I think it’s part of the reason why they don’t love or understand me. I care very deeply and am trying to find myself. I also have anxiety and depression and have been struggling with that a lot. I don’t think anyone would ever want to be around me or like me and this is kind of confirming that. I’ll just be alone forever I guess, I’ve never had a relationship and don’t see that ever happening for me and now I think I’m out of friends. Hopefully I’m overthinking this, I’m sick today with infected tonsils and am really depressed tonight.
I’ll probably talk to my therapist about it tomorrow but needed to get it out somewhere since I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m 24 and I’ve never had many friends this whole time. I don’t fit in anywhere it seems.