Right side of the staircase, my territory. Underclassman girl, on her phone, earbuds in, walking towards me, going upstairs. Left arm swinging wildly. As the gap between us closes, I move to the extreme right to avoid her. Her path skews to her left, towards me. Arm still flailing about. She has yet to see me. Five feet and closing. I already see it coming. Her hand strikes The Boys. Her jaw drops. I brace for what is to come.