So... I was inspired by all these “If Pokémon Were Cars” articles at the heels of the VR app Pokémon GO’s release but it pretty much had only shown only a few species, and given that I also admit to being an enthusiast of Pokémon, let’s take a look at what car fits best for each species of Pocket Monster, for example:
The 2010 Ariel Atom 500 would be perfect for Scizor because its high base attack of 130 plus access to both Technician and Bullet Punch complements perfectly with the Atom’s 500-horsepower V8 fitted onto a bare-bones chassis (also matches with the Pincer Pokémon’s steel exoskeleton) weighing a mere 550 kg (1,213 lbs), resulting in a 0-60 time of 2.3 seconds. However, its Mega Evolution would be best fit with a 2003 Lingenfelter Corvette C5 Twin-Turbo, given that its 1,100 horses and acceleration time of 1.97 were absolutely eye-watering numbers 15 years ago yet it can still compete with modern hypercars.
While the ever-popular Pikachu, according to several sources, could be a Nissan Juke or a Škoda Citigo, for its cuteness, but it would honestly be best as a Chery QQ S11 (That’s the first generation QQ); in fact, its headlights look just like the cheeks it uses to release electricity, causing storms when there are many Pikachu! However, we also need to discuss about its evolution, Raichu, which would be a 2001 Renault Clio V6. Its aggressive behavior when storing excess electricity is just like the erratic handling of the French rear-wheel drive hot hatch thanks to the heavy V6 behind the driver.
As a car, Dragonite would be a Maybach 62 S, suiting its rarity and just like Dragonite with 134 base attack plus Extreme Speed, the Maybach would be very powerful for its size with 604 horsepower from a twin-turbocharged V12.
For Swinub, no car would fit better than a Lada Niva because like the Russian Mini SUV, it travels through ice; in Swinub’s case, it forages for food, like how the Niva is pretty much your choice from getting from point A to point B when you’re in rural Russia, especially in a cold climate. Additionally, Mamoswine would be the lumbering Ford Excursion Limited equipped with the 6-liter PowerStroke diesel V8, producing not only 325 horsepower, but also 560 lb-ft of torque, with a 9,200 lb (just over 4 and a half tons) towing capacity, perfect for utility in the snow.
One other article mentioned how Mightyena would be best as a Range Rover, intimidating others on the road with its size. However, it’s actually the 2003-04 Mercury Marauder suiting the Bite Pokémon the best; riding on the Crown Victoria Police Interceptor’s Panther platform, these sleeper sedans were even used by the Florida Highway Patrol as unmarked police cars! Now you wouldn’t want to see one in your rear-view mirror, lights flashing.
Heliolisk and Zeraora would be the 2009 and 2020 Tesla Roadsters, respectively, the former based on a Lotus and was the center of attention for electric sports cars at the time (this was before the rise of the hybrid, then electric hypercars of today), reaching 60 in 3.7 seconds for the Sport model (but electronically limited to 125 mph), like Heliolisk’s sprint of 100 yards within 5 seconds, and the latter, slated to be released in 2020, as an electric hypercar aiming to be the world’s quickest, taking less than 2 seconds to hit said speed, with top speed of over 250 miles per hour, shocking!
Mewtwo and the Koenigsegg Regera have two things they have in common; they were both developed by science and intended to the most powerful of all, one being a Pokémon and the other a hybrid V8 Swedish Hypercar producing almost 1,800 horsepower.
Pelliper in vehicle form would obviously be the Grumman LLV mail truck, in which it is not only seen carrying eggs and other small Pokémon in its bill, but one even serves as the postal service in the first Mystery Dungeon games!
So here’s the challenge: Can we find the perfect cars (or vehicles) for each of the 809 Pokémon, including alternate forms, Alolan forms, and Mega Evolutions?
