"This car is not a Mustang"

Illustration for article titled This car is not a Mustang

A bit of local Craigslist gold that needs to be shared:

Don’t buy this car, it’s not a mustang.

No one will race you at stoplights. No teenagers will say, “Cool car, man,” and run their hands over the faded paint. No one will know how to pronounce the name.

If you buy this car, your spouse won’t understand. “It’s so ugly,” they’ll say. Even after you explain that it’s turbocharged, has a big VAM, an la3 computer, and a Porsche 944 intercooler, it won’t matter. They’ll just say, “But, what is it?”

This car is not a mustang, but it is a Ford. Sort of. This german-designed, executive tuner was Ford’s mid-80's answer to BMW. If you want the “respect” that comes from driving a BMW, don’t buy this car.

The large hatchback is full of spare parts. No one knows what this car is, but the parts are easy to find and cheap. I’ll give them all to you. You’ll need them. This is being sold as is, because it needs a new turn signal in the front so it won’t pass inspection. If you can’t change the turn signal light, don’t buy this car.

If you want to cruise down Main Street and look cool, blasting the stereo, don’t buy this. No one will think you’re cool. The upgraded speaker head unit, the subwoofer in the back, even the brand new speakers, won’t change their minds.

This car is not a mustang. It doesn’t have a big V8 that rumbles and shakes the car. This is the other guy, the one with a BOV and turbo flutter that makes tough guys giggle.

For those that know what a BOV is, then you’ll know how to fix a hesitation issue standing in the way of a fast quarter mile. For those who know what XR4TI stands for, buy this car. I want to park cash in my garage where this car currently sits away from the weather.

Don’t buy this car if you want to show off in the high school parking lot. This car is not a mustang.

Buy this car if you want to be faster than a mustang.

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Illustration for article titled This car is not a Mustang

“the parts are easy to find and cheap” LOL, there’s a reason Merkurs always come with a hoard of parts the owner had collected. Any parts that are Merkur/Sierra specific are basically unobtanium. Still, I would totally buy one.