Thank you, Oppo.

Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.

After contaminating my clear coat via Holiday cheer, I was thoroughly displeased. But you kept me from going to dark places by 1) downplaying the severity, and 2) proposing simple and effective solutions, with thorough bouts of anecdotes.

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Here was the damage — this being AFTER scrubbing it for an hour in the dead of night the other day:

Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
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Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
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Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
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Let me tell you, it was far worse than what I could photograph. In broad daylight, I could see from my kitchen window what looked like the remnants of a Smurf being fucked on the hood of my car. Pardon the foul language, but it paints the picture pretty well!

So anyway, I go through one cycle on the kit: nothing. No visible effect whatsoever. A little panic sets in, because that’s what I do. Second cycle: kind of, sort of working? Fuck it, I bought the whole kit and I have nothing left to lose. I down my coffee and go through about another 9 cycles. Here are the results:

Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
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And after a spot of wax:

Illustration for article titled Thank you, Oppo.
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98.734% gone! Yay! 😊