Hershey's Kisses cereal: the Oppositelock review

Illustration for article titled Hersheys Kisses cereal: the Oppositelock review

This box was alarmingly expensive at $4.18 for what appeared to yet another attempt at repackaging any other chocolate cereal. As I mentioned before in my Chocolate Toast Crunch review, chocolate cereals are seldom good because the bar was set far too high by Cocoa Pebbles, and to a lesser extent Cocoa Puffs. New contenders need a unique twist to stay in the game, which Chocolate Toast Crunch was able to satisfy with its impressive texture and hint of cinnamon.

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This Kisses cereal? It has zero redeeming qualities or novelties. I think I would have been happier with almost any other selection.

Illustration for article titled Hersheys Kisses cereal: the Oppositelock review
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These are corn-puffy... things... shaped like deformed boomerangs. The texture is initially chalky with boring, flat, cocoa “flavor.” Yet, it still has enough sugar to irritate the inside of your lips. So you get the punishment of having, say, Cocoa Puffs but with the taste of generic sweetened corn balls.

Illustration for article titled Hersheys Kisses cereal: the Oppositelock review
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It also appears to be cheaply made. Look at the side of my bowl. The chocolate fixings just melt off all the pieces within seconds of being introduced to the milk. You could actually pull one of these out of the bowl and write your name in what appears to be calligraphy ink.

And like unimpressive generic corn puffs, they WILL NOT ABSORB MILK, and they’re far to hard without it. It’s not like corn flakes or toast crunch where you can eat them dry or right away with a spash of processed cow teat juices. These Kiss Puffs are Molar Busters™.

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Sometimes, your prejudices can prevent you from wasting four dollars if you just remind yourself that optimism is for the birds.

Thanks for reading.