I’ve always had trouble sleeping. When I was a kid I would stay up all night/most of the night, nearly every night. I would play video games, clean and organize my room or other areas of the house or just pace around like a nut job. Even if I slept at a friends house, I’d be up all night thinking or cleaning/organizing their room like a weirdo not that anyone ever complained. During my late high school and college years excessive drinking and recreational drugs got me to sleep pretty much every night (or kept me up all night;). Sometime in my 20's when I stopped getting high all of the time, I was back to “welp, I guess I don’t sleep anymore.”
Not sleeping in my late 20's proved to be a lot less tolerable than it was as a kid. Instead of lying awake and thinking/cleaning/playing video games, I would lay awake and worry.
A little over a year ago I started running, and eating better. I lost a bunch of weight and if I really exhausted myself running I could maybe sleep through the night. Since the new year I have really picked it up, running 10-20 miles per week, I’ve put away over 300 miles in 2018. I still have trouble sleeping often. I decided to see a therapist about it. Long story short, I have an “as needed” script for Klonopin for when I can’t sleep, have to take a long flight, or have to be around a bunch of kids for more than 5 minutes. Which is great but I don’t take it much because I like it, haha. If you have ever enjoyed drinking to intoxication or taking drugs for fun, you know how that goes.
On to the crazy/car related. In order to not take the Klonpin, I have other things to help me get to sleep. Meditation (rarely works), tart cherry juice which seems to work but I believe it to be the placebo effect, and finally Melatonin... Melatonin works, but it makes me crazy tired the next morning and I always have INSANE dreams! Vivid, crazy, feeling like I have lived days, weeks, sometimes years of my life dreaming.
Last night was a doosy. It began with whatever city I was in totally engulfed in flames. I had to get to a super tall building where people needed to be rescued. The only way to get there was to jump from car to car. For whatever reason all of the cars were in perfect shape even though the rest of the world was on fire. I felt awful just jumping all over these cars. The further I went the nicer the cars got, it seemed liked I’d only have to run across a few to get to the building but before I knew it I had been going for what seemed like hours and the building was still really far away. Once I got there I began to rescue people and animals from this super tall burning building. There were other people helping out too. There were times when I had to jump down multiple stories at a time, but as long as there was a car to land on I knew that I could make it uninjured... There was more weirdness, but I’m having a hard time remembering all of the details now. Some of the doors to the rooms in the building were car doors, and there were steering wheels on the walls that operated some of the sets of stairs (the staircases moved around Hogwarts style). Fuckin’ crazy I tell ya.
Anyway, I just had to air that out. Our 1 month old was up a lot last night and I didn’t want to bother my tired wife with my dreams this morning.
Happy Monday!