This, brethren, is why you should buy oats

I went home from school hungry as fuck and looked for some food. Nothing. That’s fine. Looked in the cupboard. Checked the oatmeal tins.

THERE ARE NO OATS!!!!!!

No old-fashioned oats, no quick-cook, not even the instant oats. What crisis has befallen in the Wheelerguy household?

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So what? Oats are a good snack item. Make chocolate milk with syrup and boiling hot milk, then pour on oats. Then add shitty MILO balls cereal or Cookie Crisp as the sweetener. Fuck yes.