The '73 Olds Custom Cruiser is awesome.

Everybody’s obsessed with the Vista Cruiser, but I’ve just discovered the glorious machine that is the 1973 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser:

Illustration for article titled The 73 Olds Custom Cruiser is awesome.
Photo: some wagon lover
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AND I LOVE IT. Most American wagons from the seventies just look like ugly malaise lumps with tacky fake woodgrain. Sorry, I love wagons as much as the next guy, but they just do. Except this one. This one is simply beautiful, and somehow the fake woodgrain on the sides just works. It think it’s partially because unlike most others, the woodgrain here isn’t just a big rectangle tacked on. It changes shape with the rest of the styling, and feels like more of a styling feature and less like a tacky decoration. Also, that shade of green paint is amazing and complements the woodgrain perfectly. But it’s not just the styling that I love, there’s also this:

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Photo: some wagon lover
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Which works like this:

Although in that video they really need to oil the dang thing, geez...

This is peak tailgate. There’s no cooler tailgate than that. I mean, sure, if the motors burn out then that can’t be fun, but still! As far as gimmicks go, this is fantastic.

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They of course made Pontiac, Chevy, and Buick versions of these, but none of them had styling as elegant or pretty as the Oldsmobile version IMO. You can still argue that the Vista Cruiser’s fancy roof windows make it cooler, but consider that by 1973 all that the Vista Cruiser name bought you was some awkward styling and a sunroof:

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Photo: some wagon lover
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Not even the cool roof windows. Just a sunroof. And a small one at that. For shame, Oldsmobile! But at least they made up for it by making the Custom Cruiser.

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Photo: some wagon lover
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Just looking at it gives me flashbacks of road trips I’ve never been on...