Lunch

Illustration for article titled Lunch
Photo: I made this!

I guess all I need to know now is, how many calories in a cigar? Noom doesn’t seem to know.

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I must be doing something right, because I’m down 35 pounds since July. I’ve lost enough that I’m approaching XL territory instead of my usual 2XL. I’ve lost enough mass that I now fit in my favorite henley again. It’s orange with dark blue sleeves (surprise!). My husband bought it for me 7 years ago and I haven’t been able to wear it for a few years because it was XL. And now, the Broncos are 1-0 when I’m wearing it. COINCIDENCE? I think not.

(Let’s be honest. I’m gonna go over my calories today. I just poured myself another double and cracked open another can. It’s a little too early for dinner.)

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Normally at this point I’d be all WOO IMMA TAKE MY TOP OFF but my henley is good luck. So instead I’m gonna Winnie the Pooh it.

Oh, and I never did go look at that Hyundai Venue. I really hate the fact that the manual version only came with steelies coupled with terrible wheel covers. I did consider looking at a blue one with the SEL package because that blue is GORGEOUS and I really like sunroofs. The more I think about it, though, I really don’t think I want it. I’d rather have 1) a V8 4x4 Ram, 2) a V8 Challenger, 3) a V8 (sensing a theme here?) Korean luxury car, 4) a base 2-door Ford Bronco with the 7-speed, or 5) a blue extended-cab 4x4 Ford Ranger.