I present the recipe for the perfect Bloody Mary.

Illustration for article titled I present the recipe for the perfect Bloody Mary.

Take one 16oz glass.

Fill 1/5 with ice.

Fill with vodka of choice until ice floats to 1/3.

Fill remainder with Spicy V8 up to 2cm from rim.

Grind pepper until your hand feels fatigued.

Quickly shake ten drops of Worcestershire sauce.

Vigorously pat a bottle of Tabasco sauce 20 times.

Top with a dash of celery salt.

Note: do not use celery, it is a vile weed.

Stir vigorously.

Sip and ensure that the first taste is vodka, but the rest is hot sauce.

Enjoy .

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