Snake Time!

I just went out to pick some tomatoes from my garden and nearly gave myself a heart attack.

I walked around to the side of the bed and something moved under my foot - looked down and I was standing on a rather large copperhead! AHHHHH!!!!! Next is a heart attack and me jumping back like 6 feet.

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Illustration for article titled Snake Time!
Image: Mother Fucking Venomous Snake in my Garden!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I give myself a quick check to make sure I haven’t been bit this dude scoots over next to the house and tries hiding behind my downspout. Quick assessment and he’s about 4 foot long and nearly 2 inches around - a big one.

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I love snakes, but these guys don’t get to live near the house. Every other snake native to Missouri gets a free pass on my property but these dudes. When my wife was a kid she got bitten by one and barely survived it plus the antivenom so they get treated with extreme prejudice. I usually encounter 3-4 a year on my property but this one was less than 10 feet from my garage door!