Well,

F**k

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So I initially thought the problem was like many people experience with these cars: spun cage nuts. However, it turns out this nut is just stripped. This is somehow worse as replacements are 20$ a piece, special order, and I would need to cut the thing and weld it anyway.

Option B is to try to tap it for a bigger bolt, provided I can even find a slightly bigger grade 8 bolt this size (not likely)

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Option c is to just rip the whole thing out and put in a standard nut which seems like the most expedient option, but will screw me later if I need to remove the front subframe. Considering this thing needs massive bodywork and the floors will need attention, it also seems plausible that I wont care about hacking open the floor again.

I dont understand how it could be stripped. The old bolt came out just fine, it was original to the car. There looks to be threads inside:

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But as soon as the bolt reaches the end of travel, it stops tightening.

Looks like I won’t be driving it this weekend.