Everything on this plate is from plants

Illustration for article titled Everything on this plate is from plants

I’m drunk so it’s time for some proselytizing. This was my dinner tonight. There were no animal products in it, and it was good.

Advertisement

I blame my wife for my drunkenness. She wanted some red wine and I was all “oh I don’t mind popping to the beer & wine store down the street. I’m working from home tomorrow, let’s get drunk!”

You may be wondering what the hell a beer & wine store is, but here in Montgomery County, MD, the only alcohol distributor is the county, and the only full liquor stores are county stores. There are independent beer & wine stores that buy their beer & wine from the county, and you can’t buy alcohol at all anywhere else. No grocery store alcohol, no gas station alcohol, nothing.

Advertisement

There are 4 different beer & wine stores within a few blocks of my house. Location, location, location. This is much more convenient than driving the 1.3 miles to the county liquor store.

There’s a medical marijuana store across the street from the county liquor store, and both of these places are by a Target and a Marshall’s.

Advertisement

The closest recreational weed store is 11 whole miles away in Columbia Heights, DC. It is ALSO next to a Target and a Marshall's (and a Best Buy, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Modell's, all in the same building, with a large parking garage.)

So now you know that our nation’s capital is a land of Target, Marshall’s, and marijuana.

Advertisement

Also, Ba Tampte half hour pickles are the best pickles in the world.

MURRICA.