Used WD-40, Now Excuse Me While I Hunt Adjacent Neighborhoods for Things to Spray

Illustration for article titled Used WD-40, Now Excuse Me While I Hunt Adjacent Neighborhoods for Things to Spray

Does anyone else have this habit of learning to live with a squeak or stubborn sliding cover even though you know it will only take a single shot of WD-40 to fix it?

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Maybe you rationalize that squeak, squeal, or sticking point as a security feature until one day, you finally grab the can and take the shot like Kobe in the clutch. It works like a single mother and now you feel like a superhero! *Da- dadadaahhh* Handyman, is here! Plus ultra.

You then spend the rest of the hour on patrol interrogating every object with a moving part. If it swings or slides it’s now suspect in your eyes until proven proper. You comb through your home like a school nurse doing lice checks and eventually you end up outside fiddling with the cars and shed. Then your neighbors come outside, announced by the screaming hinges of their storm door whining out the unlubricated cry of a 1st generation Nidoking. “Eh Stanuel! Let me to hit those hinges for ya!”

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Thank goodness there aren’t any retirement homes nearby or I’d be hitting doors, chairs, walkers, and hips all weekend.

The only other thing I do that comes close to this is, if I tightened something with a flat screwdriver, I start checking all the socket and light switch surrounds, making certain that they are all tightened to vertical. Like Barbara Bush said, “You’re always right when nothing else is left, so get it done, George!”